Windy Citizen
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Facebook ShareWhen I am not soaring through the open air in my zeppelin, I am meandering about the campus of North Park University. Surely you have noticed me as I am the one in the top hat. I have overheard many students this semester discuss their winter boredom. Aye, the snowy snows of winter seem daunting to any thrill seeker. One might ask, “Godfried, how can one such as myself have fun in this dreary winter season?” It is well known from Kedzie to Kimball that I, Godfried Moneybags, confirmed bachelor and man of questionable wealth, am quite the adventurer. Allow me to put down my monocle, twirl my mustache, and share my secrets-o-fun with you.
1. Ride the 92 Foster Bus: This city is full of buses and trains which are a lot like rides at a park of amusement. The best bus of all is right in front of campus! Impress your friends by riding the bus through its full route. Note to gentlemen: This is how I woo the ladies.
2. Dunkin Donuts: Were you aware that America runs on Dunkin? And that we are currently in America? This is a fact that the employee at the local Dunkin Donuts divulged unto me. Since then I regularly seek fun through their doughy delights. Note to ladies: This is how I will woo you.
3. Attend a Comedy Show: Chicago is the capital for comedy. Don’t fact-check that with a map because none of the liberal media maps show it on there. Every night in the city there is a comedy show and many of them have discounts for students or are free. Might I suggest attending Baby Wants Candy, 10:30pm, at The Apollo Theatre on Friday nights? Tickets are $5 with a student ID. The show is an improvised musical and contains both men and women, eye candy for all to enjoy. Note to the reader: This is how I will woo you.
If you have a questionable question and seek my honorable advice, feel free to send an electronic-mail. Not to me as I live in an age where petticoats are all the rage. Please send all questions to my secretary, Stephanie Weber. That boob-ed creature will then recite your questions aloud to me as I recline in my chaise lounge.
XOXO,
Godfried Moneybags III
I’ve ridden the Foster 92 before. It’s quite a trip. I prefer the Western 49, myself.
Oh Godie (that would be you), you have certainly wooed me, and given me some inspiration for this Valentine’s Day. See you at the D-hole, if you know what I mean ;)