When I’m not sipping brandy in my bungalow south of Lawrence Avenue, I am answering the myriad of inquiries posed to me by troubled North Park students.

Dear Godfried,
I am an English major, but I don’t know if it’s for me. I am considering switching to be a theatre major. Is this decision wise? Will everyone look down on me for being a theatre major?

Sincerely,
Major Dilemna

Dear Major Dilemna,
It is well known from Kedzie to Kimball that I, Godfried Moneybags, am a lover of many things. One of those things includes the theatre. Another one of those things is brandy. There is no finer theatre for me to get my jollies at than North Park Theatre! Go on, young nymph! Shed your cumbersome clothing (you look delicious in the nude…yum), and dive into the sexy pool that is the North Park Theatre Company.

As I understand it, they are in dire need of your help. They need patrons to save the theatre by attending next weekend’s winter one act festival: Save The Theatre, Save The World. 8pm. LHA $3. This offers pure student-directed and performed theatre from the most beautiful creatures on campus such as the dashing Odie Escondo and that wily Sarah Nelson. That fair damsel really fogs my monocle! If only she would answer my love calls – come to me, dearest, for I beckon with bated breath and freshly combed moustache.

Ahem, where was I? Ah, yes, no one will look down on you for being a theatre major any more than for being an English major.

Until next time, send your inquiries to my delicious secretary Stephanie Weber and I will dictate my answers to her as my servant-boy Raul serves me delicate slices of Havarti cheese. Oh, Raul, come closer for this cheese is so thinly sliced!

XOXO,
Godfried Moneybags III

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